We Have Met Reality and It Is Ours
The Administration’s Reality Committee
AKA, “If You Have No Mouth, You Cannot Criticize Us” Committee
Recent calls from lame-stream media for a “reality czar” or “truth czar” provoked some thought about who might comprise a “reality” or “truth” commission for this administration.
Got a nominee? Put your recommendation in a comment (RealID not required) ;>).
“And The Nominees Are. . . .”
First Lord of Virology, the Right Honorable Lord Fauchi: [From the Ministry of Truth, Public Statements Division] “OMG, if you get COVID you’re gonna die!!” “Wear a box of masks, more is better.” “Remind me again, what are we going to tell ’em this week?”
CongressthingSee Note Schiff: “The Russians are coming, the Russians are coming!”
Senator Schumer: “First we change Georgia, then we change the world!”
Congressthing Ocasio-Cortez: [Released to Instagram from an undisclosed location] “(Insert name here) tried to kill me! They were banging on my door, shouting, ‘Where is she?'”
Kristen Clarke: {From DOJ Civil Rights Division] “BTW, what is your melanin index?”
Nicholas McQuaid: {From DOJ Criminal Investigation Division] “Hunter who?”
Congressthing Eric “Alfalfa” Smallwell: “China? I don’t have any china. I thought she was selling Tupperware.”
Note: “Remember, gender references ist verboten.” (Boss Pelosi) I first referred to Ms. Congressthing Pelosi as “Queen” since she seems to rule the Dems. I think that was a categorical error. It acts more like a “Boss” than a Queen. I wonder if she wears tweed.
Editor’s Note (27 May 2021): Added a new nominee:
Waco Truthsayer David Chipman: “I can’t define ‘assault weapon,’ but if it’s assaulty I’ll know it, and take it from you. By the way, is that an assault rubber-band gun you got in your pocket? You know that is the most lethal weapon ever, right? I’ll take it for the safety of the public (that’s we elites, if you didn’t know).”